12.26.2020 ~ 7 Years Sober, but how does my family see me?

“When I decided to stop drinking and drugging on December 26th, 2013 it was a decision I made for myself and my children. No one else. I thought it was selfish at the time. Now 7 years later I know it was the best decision I could of ever made.”

— €@Tiffany Marler

Today marks the 7th anniversary of my Sobriety birthday and during these times of COVID while everything is shut down, we must all think about what is still important to us in our lives. We are all facing tribulations and strifes right now that we have never ever faced before.

If one thing I know to be true the Devil has been having some fun this year. We must all recognize that we were not just born this way. This was NOT Gods plan for you. We did not pop out of our mother’s belly’s and become alcoholics and drug addicts. We became Them, Our Parents, Carers, Guardians. This is a DISEASE. I will say that again. This is a DISEASE.

It took me becoming sober and TRULY AND HONESTLY getting to seven years to fully understand that this is enlightenment. To now understand that “Socioeconomic Generational Trauma”(c) is the absolute root cause for my choices I made in my younger life. I didn’t know any better until now.

When I did become aware that there was a better way to live was when I had a child of my own. That changed me inside even if I didn’t know how to cope outside in the world yet. I still struggled, yes, but who wouldn’t that had polytrauma situations. It took until now at 42 years old to sort out 37 years of damage, trauma and abuse that led up to my addictions. I did not want that for my child.

So I left my home 7 years ago. Left my child. And I started my road to recovery. It was hard. It consisted of not only getting my body better, which if I lived through at the time I’d Never Ever want to go through again, lol; and my mind as well. I went 1000 miles away from the triggers and pressures of where I got hurt and also my family.

I come from a long line of alcoholics. I don’t blame them nor criticize them. I have my own demons. The difference is I’m dealing with mine, recognizing mine, being truthful about them and making effective change in our family to make a Dynamic Shift to stop the cycle of abuse that goes along with the drinking and alcoholism and drug addiction in my family with the past.

This has now split our family. And this is why. We have some who want to continue to abuse alcohol to the point to where it affects their judgements and actions towards other family members and it’s harmful. We have individuals who are still messing around with drugs on my other side. The only thing we can do is distance ourselves from the negative individuals and help them when they are ready to get some treatment or therapy. We are very invested in helping the younger generations not make the same mistakes we made because of our parents not having the correct coping skills in life to teach us the correct ways. And once again I cannot stress this enough. No one is to blame. This is simply a trickle down effect of a breakdown of society over the past 40–60 years here in our country we are finding. It’s a huge research study and we cannot wait for the first book to come out for you! Thank you!

“Who’s ‘we’ right? Well that would be my older sister and I. We have both been subject to the abuses of our mother, and father (in the past for him), now due to her drinking. It is sad, but she has also had to make amends to her 4 boys for her own drinking in the past which she is now more at rest in her spirit for doing so and recognizing she needed to”

Written By ~€@

Tiffany Marler

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Cofounder & Director of Development, Aurora Hope Foundation©; Human Trafficking Survivor-Advisory Panel, BreakFree-Canada©, Author, Survivor-DV, MST, ST, CST

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Sister Aurora Nyx

Sister Aurora Nyx

Cofounder & Director of Development, Aurora Hope Foundation©; Human Trafficking Survivor-Advisory Panel, BreakFree-Canada©, Author, Survivor-DV, MST, ST, CST

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